Tuesday 28 January 2020

I Maebeme

I've noted I have some new readers in the past few weeks, and wanted to welcome you all here.  I believe, as bloggers, we appreciate the comments (not the spam ones), as it gives support to our writing.  I know I certainly do.  My readers at this blog and my former blog have provided ideas, support, words of wisdom, and even the occasional well deserved (and kindly worded) rebuke.  While we may never meet in person there is a connection through this magic world of the internet.

For the new readers I'd like to share a bit of the back history of my life, my world.  I previously wrote another blog that is no longer public. The first blog came about when I discovered Blogger...long after blogs were a thing.  I've always been a late adopter.  I had a good group of readers of that blog, and like this one, I tended to write every week about my daily life, my family, and my travels.  For sometime I also kept up a funny Friday when I shared a cartoon that made me laugh.

But then I did something very foolish. I didn't stick to the script but choose to write a post about my work.  In the post, I made a few comments that were offside and that mistake cost me dearly.  It never dawned on me that anyone other than my loyal core group of readers was reading the blog.  But there was at least one person who had worked with me in the past, who did read it and shared it with one of my staff.  And although our corporate policy was a conflict with someone it was to be dealt with at the lowest level this individual chose to, instead, take it to our senior manager.  Not only that, but she circulated the post among many of the other employees in our division.  Initially I was not aware this had happened but sometime later, I received a request for a meeting with my manager and her manager, along with a union representative.  At that meeting, although I asked, I was told I could not know who had brought this forward.  I only found out a few months before I retired who was responsible. 

When I learned of the situation, I did take down the post.  Because of my position as a supervisor, I was also subject to disciplinary action.  But that wasn't the end of it.  The impact of my foolishness, and the actions of my staff member caused my last year of work to be extremely stressful.  I was shunted into a position that provided no real challenges.  Until that time I enjoyed my work and often called it my dream job.  But then it became my nightmare.  I felt like I walked through the office with a scarlet letter on my chest. I'm pretty sure no one was happier than I was when that final day came and I was able to walk out of the office for the last time.  

In the meantime I made the previous blog private, and thought about simply not writing anymore.  In fact, I told my managers that I had quit.  But I couldn't give it up, no more than I could quit breathing.  So my life, my world was born, and I took on the persona of Maebeme. 

Maebeme came from two sources.  Mae was my dad's older sister.  When I was a child, she and Grandma lived a half mile from our farm in a farmyard on land rented by my dad and his brother.  I was probably 6 or 7 when I started biking down the road to visit with Aunt Mae.  (Grandma was blind and deaf at this point, she sat in a chair and rocked most of the day).  Aunt Mae was the one who taught me to knit, she pretended to drive us on trips in her car, and always had peppermints in a tin.  I have so many wonderful memories of the times we spent with her.  She passed away the year my daughter was born. 

The phrase may be me was the other source.  I wanted a spot where I could be me.  Where I could write as I pleased without the fear that my words might be held against me.  Though I made certain never to write about work again, I also ensured there was no connection between my original blog and this one.  As far as I know, my blog has not been discovered by former co-workers.  Even if it has, I've not shared anything in this post that would identify any particular person. 

Today I will share that my name is Eileen.  I'm a 60 year old woman, never married, with two adult children and the most adorable grandson. (I may be a little biased).  I do regret my momentary lapse in judgement that brought me here, but only because it hurt some individuals I worked with.  I don't regret creating this new blog, although I lost some readers, not only because some very special people followed me here, but because I've met many others through it.  

Thank you for reading, and for sharing a bit of my life, my world.  Your comments are always appreciated.

P.S.  Some of my new readers who have commented, don't seem to have blogs linked to their profiles.  If you are one of those individuals and have a blog, please leave the address in a comment or e-mail me at Maebeme59@gmail.com  Thanks!

  


12 comments:

  1. It's good to know your back story. That experience would be terrible though. In retirement you truly have nothing to fear from former co-workers. That is the truly ugly part of working with others. Glad to know you Eileen!

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  2. I did not know your story either. Funny thing is, I started blogging when I got shoved off a forum for giving my opinion! I guess we are just women with mind's of our own.
    I love how you got the name for your blog.
    Thanks for sharing.

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  3. I remember that happening and I'm so glad you continued to blog in spite of it all. It's also nice to know your name really is Eileen, because often I suspect people post under made-up names for privacy issues. (I did that when I had a FB account, because my last name is very unusual, only a few of us in the country. And yes, my name really is Kim. LOL.)

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  4. Nice to know the back story. I often wonder if someone I know in real life reads my blog.. There are some things I hope they never read if they do.

    God bless.

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  5. I wrote about my work all the time before I retired. If anyone read it or not I have no idea. Too bad about your work situation...that sucks. Glad you found your way back to blogging, I find it a wonderful tool to journal:)

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  6. I find myself surprised too that people in my "real life" read my blog. I certainly understand why you thought that no one would notice you writing about work. Thanks for sharing your history.

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  7. I wondered why you changed but I ran right along behind you and settled in. :-) I had the type of work I was in, as a reason not to write about it through the years as I would have been in serious trouble if I had. So I wrote about the hours I had to be on duty, and its impact on daily life including my family who had to suffer because of it. I've not said what I did, and that's fine. I am glad to know you now Eileen. You already know thorough comments I have made from time to time that I am sincerely impressed by all you get done and all that you do to enjoy your life. Your cruises and you're friends. They are fun to read about. And your work ethic is very strong. Mine is too and I like reading of others similar to me in that regard. I don't think co-workers ever have read my blog. Work undoubtedly has and Katie's too, but I have always been careful about that. I'm writing a blog here. Sorry.

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  8. I did not know that story. It took me a while to realize that Maebeme and Eileen were the same person. That was quite a price you had to pay for just airing your thoughts. I never use the correct names for anyone I post about. Now I can see how that is an advantage. So glad you can now type with out fear.

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  9. I recall when you changed blogs but didn't know the extent of the situation. I'm sorry it went to that point. Frankly, I can't imagine spreading word of what someone wrote about a mutual workplace, unless it was heinous or criminal. The fact that not everyone feels that way is why I keep knowledge of my blogging to a few on my end. I hope to read more about your life in the years to come, so don't stop this blog!

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  10. Thank you for the back story. I had clicked on your "about me" only to discover it was empty and thought that was a bit odd. I do not have a blog although I have thought about starting one at various times. I do read yours every time you post and find it very interesting. I never, or hardly ever, comment on the many blogs I read. I don't really know why I don't. I guess I don't think I have anything interesting to say!

    I am a retired librarian with advancing MS and becoming increasing disabled. I read for pleasure and diversion, and I live vicariously through the various blogs I read.

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  11. I love reading your blog. You're like my friend, chatting about your day and the kids or whatever comes to mind!

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Thanks for stopping by!