Some things end, and the future is near

Yes, the landscaping work is complete - at least the part I had to pay for. Over on the other side of the yard, where the trees were removed, I've got some work to do to keep the weeds down. The bird feeder was on the stump of an old evergreen, and of course, birds and squirrels aren't particularly tidy. I've been pulling weeds, and using a herbicide in an effort to do away with as much as I can. The landscaper wasn't able to get the stump grinder into the back yard because of the limited width of the space between the sunroom and the fence. As a result, one of the tree stumps is beginning to show new growth. One night, when I couldn't sleep, I did a bit of research and discovered the most cost effective and relatively easy way to kill the tree is to drill holes in the stump, add Epsom salts and a bit of water, and cover with a tarp.

I thought the recent heat would also help, so picked up the Epsom salts and spent a half hour or so one morning using my drill to put as many holes into the stump as I could. After a few days, I can already see that the stump is beginning to erode/decay from the outside. The articles I read said it takes about a month for the tree to completely die. I'll keep an eye on it, and I may try digging a little more around the stump - if I can borrow and axe from my brother, I may be able to remove more of it in a couple of weeks.

Our heat advisory lasted about three days, which wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. It cooled off considerably into Wednesday morning, and I woke to 10C (50F). It did reach 28C (82F) by noon but a morning of the cooler weather was very nice.

Wednesday was also the day we said good-bye to Chris. The service was held at the funeral home, and there were a good number of people in attendance. Her sons both spoke briefly and a cousin gave the eulogy. There was an opportunity for others to share memories at one point and a few people did. One who did surprised me, as she has only known Chris for four weeks, since Chris started her temporary job at a local company. It was clear that Chris had been well-liked (not a surprise) and had integrated easily into the office. I spoke to her after the service and she said, that unlike some temps, Chris was willing to take on any task - she told her co-workers she wanted to be the temp that they would want to keep. She said they would have been thrilled had she stayed on and were as shocked as the rest of us at her sudden passing.

I did not go to the podium - I had provided some memories to the family, and some of my comments were included in the eulogy. The service did provide some relief, for lack of a better term, for me. Seeing the photo of her next to the urn reinforced the fact I'll never see her face again, hear her laugh, or share a hug. Until that moment, it hadn't really felt real - I'd even said to my son, "I almost think when we get to the funeral home, Chris will pop out and say, ha, ha I got you." 

I did have a few minutes to talk to her sons after the service and offered my help to J, her eldest (he didn't sound too enthusiastic so I'll leave him alone). It sounds like he is going to be the one who is shouldering much of the burden of dealing with his mom's property. I do know his uncle K is the executor of the estate so hopefully those family members will be supportive too. But, I'm not optimistic as they were separated at the service, with her sons and ex-husand, his wife and daughter on one side of the aisle, while her brother, his family, several cousins and aunts and uncles were on the other side. There is nothing I can do - if in fact, that split was deliberate but seeing it made me feel sad.

Stitch and chat was a welcome event later that day. There were three of us again, S, B, and I.  B brought a cross-stitching project to show us. Her adult children gave it to her a couple of years ago for Christmas. The pattern book is 63 pages in length and the finished project will be nearly 22" by 22". It's enormous and will be simply stunning when complete. I did a search and was able to find a photo. Isn't it spectacular? There are sooo many color changes, so it's not something I would ever tackle.

She was working on her tooth fairy pillows, while S was working on her scarf, and I had a mitten on the needles. Our conversation covered the various projects they are working on at home (quilts for charity), current news, and of course, the weather. I apparently wasn't paying enough attention to my knitting, as when I picked it up that evening, I discovered I'd added two additional stitches so had to frog it back a few rows. I did complete it that evening. I confirmed the count, and this mitten is the first of the 12th pair since the beginning of June. I'm getting there.

Thursday, was "pay day" or rather the day my pensions are deposited to my account. I did some on-line banking in the morning, and updated my spreadsheets, before heading out to pick up cat litter. The last Thursday of the month is senior's day at the pet store where I purchase the cat litter, and I get a 10% discount. It isn't a lot, but over a year, it's basically like getting a free bag of cat litter. I also stopped at a couple of grocery stores and picked up some fresh veg and fruit, and a couple of other items. The best bargain was B.C. fresh cherries at $1.99 a pound, marked down from $8.99 a pound (though I do think the grocery chain marks products up before they mark them down). On the other hand, potatoes are up in price again, five pounds for $6.99. It wasn't long ago when the regular price was $4.99. Seeing the recent announcement of Loblaw quarterly earnings has me steaming mad. No one can tell me there isn't price gouging happening under the guise of inflation and increased costs. But I'm sure their shareholders are happy.

Outside it reached a high of 25C (77F) so I took a page from Patsy, and spent the afternoon out in the yard reading. Housework and knitting could wait. I'm reading another book by Jodi Piccoult titled "Change of Heart. The story of a family tragedy: a father and his daughter are murdered while the mother is expecting their second child. This child, a daughter is born with a heart condition and needs a heart transplant. The convicted killer, on death row, offers his and testing proves he is a match. The blurb on the book asks: "Could you grant your enemy's dying wish in order to hold on to the last light of hope in your own life?" It's an interesting read, and of course, there is more than meets the eye in this story. 

On Friday, I woke to an overcast sky and chilly morning. The evening prior, I'd decided I'd spend some time outdoors dead-heading flowers, giving my petunias a haircut, and collecting the sun-ripened tomatoes. It was only 12C (54F) and felt much cooler when I went out to the bin with the cat litter. Pivot! The day was spent on Ancestry and housework. 

I received an e-mail from my real estate agent advising the most recent house in my neighbour sold in one day (and it needs work), for just below asking. That means NO open house...could I be as lucky? We've agreed to meet on the 8th of August to prepare the listing. That gives me a little more time to do more cleaning/sorting/organizing and yard work. I'll be sending my son out this weekend to ensure the eavestroughs are clear of debris. 

This morning, it was even cooler (6C/43F) when I woke, but has warmed up several degrees since then. The sun is shining, and we're expecting a high of 24C/75F. I'll putter around inside for another hour or so, and then head outdoors to get some yard work done. This afternoon and evening, there are baseball and football to watch.

Here's my harvest from the containers this week. When I moved the plants in front of the fence, I dropped a few green tomatoes so brought them in to ripen indoors. But the already red ones had ripened on the vine. I'll be enjoying them later today. 

Have a great week ahead everyone!

Life can be cruel

 

Today I am reminded at how cruel and unfair life can be.  Last night, at the far too young age of 50, my friend Chris passed away. Her son J, called today to let me know - thankfully he and her other son R, were with her, along with R's dad Ro. I've always referred to her before as C, and she is my friend whose mother passed away last December. 

I've known Chris for nearly 30 years; we met through mutual friends and despite the age difference, became close over the years. She had her son J when she was about 22, and I would often take him for a couple of days to give her a break when he was an infant. (My children tell me it was most weekends, but to honest, I don't remember it being that frequent at all.) 

Every summer, she and would take the kids (my two, her one) to the Regina Exhibition. While I took J on the kiddy rides, she would take mine on the midway - once they were all tall enough to ride, and the scarier the ride the better. I paid for the ride pass because there was no damn way I was going on the rides with them. Both D and C still talk about the fun they had with Chris at the fair.

Several years later, when she married Ro, I was one of her bridesmaids. After R was born (he's now 15) the three of us would get together to go garage-saling. I can remember one time, when R was about four very clearly.  He wanted an old toy lawn mower from one of the garage sales, and his mom said no, and he said "Mom, we need to compromise." It took some convincing for him to understand a compromise was when each person gave up something and he was really looking for his mom to capitulate. 

Sadly, the relationship between Chris and Ro didn't last, and Chris' life became quite chaotic. She moved several times within the city, occasionally I would be there to help with the move, and we'd get together once in awhile to hit a few garage sales. About five or six years ago, she moved out of the city, and our visits were even more infrequent. I did get a visit with her three years ago, when I did a day trip out to the area and we met for coffee at Tim Hortons.

Chris loved the coffee at Timmy's. The order was always the same, a large coffee with two cream and four sugar. My son, told me a story today, that he remembers Chris pretending to write her name in the coffee with the sugar. It wouldn't surprise me in the least! When I drove her to work this winter before she got her truck, the staff at the drive-through near her house knew her order because she was there daily.

I hadn't realized she'd moved back to the city a couple of years ago, but we had kept in contact through Facebook. She was busy working full-time, spending weekends with R, and volunteering at the Rider games throughout the football season. Then her mom got ill last winter and passed away, and we began to spend more time together. 

I can't remember a time, when we were together throughout the years, that we didn't laugh about something. Even in those darkest days after her mom passed, one of us would remember something and the laughter would bubble up. Any time we were at a garage sale and the stuff was tacky ugly, she'd pick something up and say, isn't this adorable or cute or pretty? I'll just say, I don't have a poker face and trying to be polite without agreeing was interesting. We'd crack up in the car afterward. 

She could talk to anyone, and often did at length. Before R was born, I'd have to drag her away from a garage sale if there was a baby nearby. More recently, it was often a dog that would catch her attention. Since I was usually the driver I'd have to make as if I was leaving her behind.

Chris loved cats, and her current apartment is full of them. There are two live ones and every cat tschotske known to humankind. (Knick-knacks and paddy whacks is how she referred to them.) Many of these items were purchased at garage sales or the thrift store. And of course, many were gifts she was given over the years. It was never hard to buy a Christmas gift for Chris.

With her mom's passing, she came into an inheritance that suddenly made her life much easier. She had struggled most of her adult life to support herself, to help J, and pay her child support for R.  This was a huge change for her and Chris felt guilty about the money, as it came at such a price. But she had dreams, and a couple of them came to fruition. She was able to get a tattoo, dyed green streaks in her hair (for the Riders), and bought a bright yellow pick-up. Chris was looking forward to buying a house, where there would be room for R, and a fenced yard for a dog. We even talked about taking an ocean cruise someday in the future. 

Today, I am angry for her. It seems so unfair, that just as her life was becoming easier and more opportunities were opening up, she won't ever have the chance to realize her dreams. Chris won't meet her grandchild, due in a few months. She won't be there when J marries his girlfriend or when R graduates from highschool. 

Today, I am heartbroken with the loss of my friend. We weren't always close, but our friendship spanned almost three decades. I am especially grateful for the time we were able to spend together over the past few months. We had made plans to get together this weekend for coffee. Instead, I'll be attending her funeral in a few days. 

Chris was a very special friend. No matter how much time had passed between visits, we started up right where we left off. We never parted without a hug and I love you to each other. I will miss her very much.

The aftermath of Christmas, storms, customer service, and loss.

According to Eli, Christmas was the "best day ever". So despite a couple of hiccups, that's good enough for me. The first hiccup was the snow that fell overnight. I heard the wind howling about 2 a.m. and looked out to see the snow had started, and by noon on Christmas day, we had about 20 cms. (8 inches) of fresh snow. It had blown and drifted so was deeper in several places. 

We went out to shovel after lunch, and Eli to play in the snow. D and I had cleared about 1/3 of the driveway when the neighbour from two doors down, arrived with his snow blower. I've been here for over 12 years, and this neighbour who recently immigrated from Egypt is the first to offer any assistance. D called him our Christmas miracle. Later, I took over a tin of Christmas baking to say thank you. We would have eventually got everything cleared, but it would have taken us much longer. 

D's town got closer to 30 cms. (12 inches), and she was able to contact a local company to arrange to clear the area behind her garage, and from the garage to the back door. They did that on Boxing Day before she arrived home. 

I'm grateful for the neighbour's help, and grateful too that we didn't get as much snow as areas of Ontario did. While the snow wasn't wanted, it did come with warmer temperatures. It was -12C (10F) when D and Eli headed for home on the 26th. 

I spent the day puttering, washing the bedsheets (in cold water), tidying up the toys, and just putting things back where they belonged. Mostly I sat and rested, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. I do love my daughter and grandson, but they certainly are noisy!

My brother and SIL were able to get out on their flight to Phoenix on the 26th as well. That gives me a lot of hope that everything should be operating normally by the time I head south. However, their trip wasn't without snafus either, as they were lined up at the airport for 2 1/2 hours to retrieve their rental car, with another 2 hour drive ahead of them to their final destination. I heard from him later in the day, and he said they arrived at the hotel at 3 a.m. local time (4 a.m. our time); a very long day. Travelling during the holidays is not easy! 

Then, just to add insult to injury, the basketball team's flight the next day was cancelled, so the coach decided they wouldn't go at all. R and P weren't planning to return until Sunday but were able to change their flights to Friday. As I told him, at least they were in a beautiful place to celebrate P's birthday. I certainly hope their return trip is less problematic.

Back at home, the other major hiccup, was an issue hot water heater. I realized the water wasn't as hot as it would normally be on Christmas day evening. The following morning, I had no hot water and after trying to re-light the pilot light several times, I contacted the rental company. The first available appointment was two days later on Wednesday! The call agent indicated she would escalate it, hoping that someone would be able to fit me in sooner. 

Tuesday brought more weather woes, with a freezing rain alert. Thankfully we didn't get a whole lot of freezing rain in my part of the city - there was about coating of about 1/4 inch on the deck railings and garbage bin, but we did get more snow overnight on top of it.  The highways outside the city were hit pretty hard and several roads were closed. There were also areas of the city where the power was out for some time.  The rain didn't reach my daughter's town an hour and a half away, but they got another 10 cms. (4 inches) of snow! She wasn't very happy when I talked her the next morning.

On Wednesday I called the hot water heater company again for an update and discovered that first thing on Wednesday actually meant between 4 and 8 p.m. Again, the agent I spoke with assured they would attempt to escalate my call. At 3:55 p.m. I received a call from a tech stating he was on the way over. Within 10 minutes, after manually starting it up again, he had the water heater working. He stayed and kept an eye on it for about 25 minutes before he said he felt comfortable it was working properly. A couple of hours later the hot water was hot and I took a shower. 

Thursday was my day to run errands. I needed to get to the bank to pick up cash for my trip, pick up cat food and cat litter, and a few other items. I got those things done and shovelled the driveway and sidewalk again. 

The day ended on a sad note. My friend C's mom L passed away; she had been hospitalized just prior to Christmas and took a turn for the worse that morning. She had been transferred to another hospital, but there was little to be done. The family met and made the difficult decision to provide comfort care as  treatment wasn't working. I had several messages during the morning, and mid-afternoon the final message came in saying L was now in heaven. I've known C for nearly 30 years, her mom for probably 25 years or so. We haven't seen one another for several years but kept in touch via FB. We were both fans of curling and often chatted on-line about the games and the teams. Now she is at rest, once again breathing freely, and reunited with her husband. May she rest in peace.

I'm ending this week's post here - I going to follow Eli's lead and crawl under a blanket or a bit. I'll definitely post before I get away next week.