I Maebeme

I've noted I have some new readers in the past few weeks, and wanted to welcome you all here.  I believe, as bloggers, we appreciate the comments (not the spam ones), as it gives support to our writing.  I know I certainly do.  My readers at this blog and my former blog have provided ideas, support, words of wisdom, and even the occasional well deserved (and kindly worded) rebuke.  While we may never meet in person there is a connection through this magic world of the internet.

For the new readers I'd like to share a bit of the back history of my life, my world.  I previously wrote another blog that is no longer public. The first blog came about when I discovered Blogger...long after blogs were a thing.  I've always been a late adopter.  I had a good group of readers of that blog, and like this one, I tended to write every week about my daily life, my family, and my travels.  For sometime I also kept up a funny Friday when I shared a cartoon that made me laugh.

But then I did something very foolish. I didn't stick to the script but choose to write a post about my work.  In the post, I made a few comments that were offside and that mistake cost me dearly.  It never dawned on me that anyone other than my loyal core group of readers was reading the blog.  But there was at least one person who had worked with me in the past, who did read it and shared it with one of my staff.  And although our corporate policy was a conflict with someone it was to be dealt with at the lowest level this individual chose to, instead, take it to our senior manager.  Not only that, but she circulated the post among many of the other employees in our division.  Initially I was not aware this had happened but sometime later, I received a request for a meeting with my manager and her manager, along with a union representative.  At that meeting, although I asked, I was told I could not know who had brought this forward.  I only found out a few months before I retired who was responsible. 

When I learned of the situation, I did take down the post.  Because of my position as a supervisor, I was also subject to disciplinary action.  But that wasn't the end of it.  The impact of my foolishness, and the actions of my staff member caused my last year of work to be extremely stressful.  I was shunted into a position that provided no real challenges.  Until that time I enjoyed my work and often called it my dream job.  But then it became my nightmare.  I felt like I walked through the office with a scarlet letter on my chest. I'm pretty sure no one was happier than I was when that final day came and I was able to walk out of the office for the last time.  

In the meantime I made the previous blog private, and thought about simply not writing anymore.  In fact, I told my managers that I had quit.  But I couldn't give it up, no more than I could quit breathing.  So my life, my world was born, and I took on the persona of Maebeme. 

Maebeme came from two sources.  Mae was my dad's older sister.  When I was a child, she and Grandma lived a half mile from our farm in a farmyard on land rented by my dad and his brother.  I was probably 6 or 7 when I started biking down the road to visit with Aunt Mae.  (Grandma was blind and deaf at this point, she sat in a chair and rocked most of the day).  Aunt Mae was the one who taught me to knit, she pretended to drive us on trips in her car, and always had peppermints in a tin.  I have so many wonderful memories of the times we spent with her.  She passed away the year my daughter was born. 

The phrase may be me was the other source.  I wanted a spot where I could be me.  Where I could write as I pleased without the fear that my words might be held against me.  Though I made certain never to write about work again, I also ensured there was no connection between my original blog and this one.  As far as I know, my blog has not been discovered by former co-workers.  Even if it has, I've not shared anything in this post that would identify any particular person. 

Today I will share that my name is Eileen.  I'm a 60 year old woman, never married, with two adult children and the most adorable grandson. (I may be a little biased).  I do regret my momentary lapse in judgement that brought me here, but only because it hurt some individuals I worked with.  I don't regret creating this new blog, although I lost some readers, not only because some very special people followed me here, but because I've met many others through it.  

Thank you for reading, and for sharing a bit of my life, my world.  Your comments are always appreciated.

P.S.  Some of my new readers who have commented, don't seem to have blogs linked to their profiles.  If you are one of those individuals and have a blog, please leave the address in a comment or e-mail me at Maebeme59@gmail.com  Thanks!